


That’s What Gods Are For

by Janusa



Series: Erotes [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Developing Relationship, Eros!Alec, Fluff, Frenemies to Almost Lovers, Himeros!Magnus, I have no respect for accuracy, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, Minor Character Death, Mutual Pining, Reinventing Greek Mythology
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-12
Updated: 2018-02-12
Packaged: 2019-03-17 06:30:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13653384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Janusa/pseuds/Janusa
Summary: Humans had interesting ideas of how gods were actually like.Rare was the time in which they were represented with accuracy. For starters, Magnus was not as white (well, he wasn't even white) as paintings suggested, and he was sure as hell that he wasn't Eros’s brother. Both were gods of love, maybe there was where laid people's confusion. However, where Alec rendered people to love a tender love, Magnus brought desire and one or two heartbreaks too. Well, he was also known as the god of 'unrequited love' for some reason.





	That’s What Gods Are For

**Author's Note:**

> WARNINGS: suicide is mentioned if you don't want to read it, skip the second scene, you'll still understand the story.
> 
> Now First of all, thanks to my beta
> 
> [malfoypottvr](https://malfoypottvr.tumblr.com/)
> 
> . Also, thank you to The Greatest Showman Soundtrack, without you this wouldn't have been possible.   
> Now, I change one or two things here:  
>  -The story of Aphrodite leaving Eros in the woods is true (one of the versions at least) but she left it because was afraid of Ares killing the child.  
> -It's said in different stories that Himeros and Eros are siblings or twins but this is fanfiction and I say that's not true, just people gossiping and they don't know shit.  
> -I don't remember right now what else I change.
> 
> Happy reading!❤

# 

There was a time in which there weren’t so many gods and goddesses. Those times were easier, busier but easier. All the love affairs were allocated to him and Aphrodite, even if she was the one who got most of the credit.

But then, what Magnus liked to call “The Zeal” started and a bunch of new gods and demigods appeared,  Aphrodite’s brats among them. 

Well, maybe calling  _ brat _ to dear Isabelle was too much. She did nothing but bring honor to her title, keeping the harmony —as much as it was possible— on earth, which was not an easy task if you asked Magnus. Also, Isabelle was a sharp thinker and a delightful conversationalist. Unfortunately, Magnus couldn’t grace her brother with such compliments. They had known each other for a few mortal lives now, crossing paths once in a while and in each one of those times they ended up arguing. 

It was almost impossible for them to agree, they could be both gods of love but they certainly didn’t have the same convictions. 

Magnus sighed, a little resigned, looking at the statue in front of him in one of the temples of Aphrodite, from all the places.

Humans had interesting ideas of how gods were actually like. There were temples on their honor, festivals on their names, songs chanting their stories and an uncountable number of depictions with little or no clothes.

Rare was the time in which they were represented with accuracy. For starters, Magnus was not as white (well, he wasn't even white) as paintings suggested, and he was sure as hell that Eros wasn't his brother.

“Just when I thought nothing could surpass making us brothers… twins, seriously?”

“There is something wrong with humans.” said a voice next to him, a voice that Magnus knew well, maybe too well for his own liking.

Magnus turned his head to his left and there, a few feet away from him, was standing Aphrodite’s brat, in his 6' 3" of grumpiness and ivory skin.

People tended to relate them because both of them were erotes; Himeros (how mortals had named Magnus) was the god of sexual desire and Alec (or Eros) the god of love. Eros, who from all the gods, goddesses and demigods he knew was by far the most misinterpreted of them all. Magnus knew Alec and he had one of the cleverest minds he had ever known. No one would ever convince him that Alec was a  mischievous child ignorant of his actions.

Still, he was glad of not having to see Maryse anymore since she had delegated great part of her duties to her firstborn, the ones in which she had to cross words with Magnus between them. Magnus and Maryse had barely tolerated each other when was necessary and avoided and ignored the other's existence as much as possible.

Yes, Himeros and Eros weren’t exactly best friends but they weren’t enemies either. Besides, he was prettier and far more likable than his predecessor. Although, being fair, she hadn’t set the bar too high.

Magnus shuddered at the idea of someone relating them.

“What?” asked Alexander, closer than before.

“Nothing.” Magnus answered, shaking his head. “I just imagined being related to your mother. Sorry but I’ve never been particularly fond of Maryse.”

Something gray crossed his expression but it was gone in the blink of an eye. There was a small tug at the corner of his mouth as if he found funny Magnus’s response. “I guess that makes two of us.” he said arching an eyebrow in Magnus’s direction.

Magnus tried to suppress his own smile, moments like this, in which they could talk and act like something akin to  _ friends,  _ were rare. He was about to make a comment about it when a glow caught his peripheral vision.

There, securing the  _ chlamys  _ that covered Alec’s white  _ chiton  _ was a gold brooch with the shape of an arrow and little emeralds embedded in the arrowhead. It wasn’t like him to use such a fine accessory; the most conspicuous part of his attire had always been his cobalt blue  _ chlamys  _ -which in itself was a gift from his sister- and, to all of this… since when Magnus knew what was like or was like not to for the other god to use?

Magnus wondered where he had got it, he hadn’t worn it last time they had seen.

“This?” Alec asked, it seemed like Magnus had voiced his thoughts aloud. “It’s a gift.”

Magnus didn’t question him further, but his eyes didn’t miss the way Alec’s fingers gently caressed the brooch and a soft smile appeared on his face. Maybe a gift from someone special? A lover?

If the brooch was indeed a gift from a lover, they should know better than give him emeralds, a gemstone so related in its meaning to Aphrodite. It was widely known between gods that Eros and Aphrodite weren’t close.

The myth said that Aphrodite had left her newborn in the woods after discovering the treason of Ares with a mortal and that the baby had been fed by beasts and grown up between feral animals. There were a lot of sordid stories amongst gods but for Magnus, whatever part of that was true, it was the story of a terrible mother, who only reached to her child once she found him useful. 

Still, the god seemed quite fond of the jewel. Magnus unconsciously pouted, smiling suited Alec.

 

# 

Magnus stood above the ceiling of the house, where no human eye could see him, observing the tragic scene unfolding some feet below.

He would love to say that he had never seen such a desolate scene in his life but he would be lying; first, because he had seen this scene before and second because he had seen more desolating things.

On the ground, laid the body of a young woman. Her parents -two peasants, just as she had been- were holding her lifeless body in their arms while crying their eyes out, in front of them the rope swaying in the wind from a branch of an almond tree told a story supported by the dark brown marks around her neck.

People would talk about because they would, they always would and they would not even have the decency of remembering her name, instead of using others. For them, she would be the girl who hanged herself because she couldn’t bear the pain of her love loving someone else. She would be the morning gossip just to die again in everyone’s lips after a week, maximum two. 

They would talk about her but not about the man who enamored her and made her promises of eternal love and then left her when he got bored.

Magnus sighed, this was all his fault,  _ again _ . And not for the first time he wondered why he kept doing this… if love was worth it.

 

Alec found Magnus in his mother’s temple at Megara, this was the second time. He was sat in one of the stone benches rounding the main fountain of the temple.

It was strange, even if his mother wasn’t here (she never came here), to see Magnus in a place where Aphrodite was worshipped.

Alec approached, unsure, the sudden tension in Magnus’s shoulders told him he had felt his presence. Alec doubted for a moment between sitting or not beside Magnus, at the end he did it.

He knew he should say something but the silence had a sacred air, and Alec was afraid of breaking it. For better or worse, he didn’t have to because Magnus did it in his place.

“Don’t you ever think it is arrogant for you to decide who loves who?” the words came out of the blue, and for a moment, Alec didn’t know what to answer.

“It’s my work.” 

“But you’re taking their free will away from them.”

This time Magnus did look at him, right in the eye. Alec tried to convince himself that the pang in his chest had nothing to do with Magnus’s gaze, that could only be classified as resentful.

“I don’t take anything from anyone, especially not love. I just give mortals a taste of the sweetness a warm body has to offer.” Alec response was simple. Well, not simple, in its moment he had also thought restless about that but he came to a conclusion a long time ago. “From that point I’m not responsible of what they decide to do or not to do.”

“Contrary to what most think, I don’t oblige anyone to fall in love. I can give love but I cannot make it blossom or strong, that’s on them.” he sighed, maybe too loudly and tried to hide it with a smile that probably looked more like a grimace. “You  _ know  _ that.”

“But… maybe, if we made better choices.” Magnus shook his head, frustrated and afflicted. Alec could count with the fingers of a hand the times he had seen Magnus like this. “Sometimes I can’t help but wonder. After all this time, why do I keep doing this? Why do you keep doing this, Alec?”

On one hand, Alec felt bad for what had happened to Maureen and on the other, he was secretly glad the reason wasn’t Camille Belcourt, for once.

Alec rested a hand on Magnus’s shoulder. “I heard about the Maureen, I’m sorry.”

“Why are you telling  _ me  _ sorry? It’s not like I knew her.”

“Magnus, I’ve known you for long enough and I know it wasn’t your fault. You are kind and loving, no matter what some say.”

Magnus closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“It’s just… you should have heard her. She blamed me, her parents blame me and I can’t help but think that they are right.”

“Of course they blame us. We are gods, Magnus, and that’s what gods are for,” he squeezed Magnus’s shoulder, trying to transmit his support. “Humans will always blame us, it takes some of the burden away from them. We offer them something to believe in; hope, comfort, redemption and sometimes pain. We make mistakes too, that’s true.” Alec made a pause to make sure Magnus was focused on him. “But Magnus, this wasn’t your fault, that man chose to betray her and she made her own decision as well. You are not almighty.”

 

Magnus knew he was probably being ridiculous about all this, he had seen a lot of people die because of love or the lack of it, but this time it hit him harder and he had an idea of why.

_ Camille Belcourt. _

She was a fierce, beautiful and ruthless queen, and Magnus had fallen in love with her. He foolishly thought she will be his forever but for Camille, he was only a means to an end.

She had always liked to play him. She knew what words to use to send him in a spiral of desperation and self-doubt and which ones to use to make him come back crawling to her, asking her for love or whatever she was willing to give him.

He was immortal, a god but Camille had killed him and his ability to love, to feel something more than lust and passion. 

Still, something inside of him warmed when Alec put his hand on his shoulder and told him words Magnus didn’t know he needed to hear.

After the unexpected heart to heart conversation, they saw each other more often, mainly in the temple. It was private and had something in it that made them feel at ease.

Sometimes Alec wouldn’t know what to do, he couldn’t just sit there, in the same bench as Magnus when there were plenty of free benches and say nothing, do nothing. 

Other times Alec would look at the fountain and the standing statues of Eros and Himeros and think about how rare it was to see works in which Himeros appeared and, that in the few ones he did, it was always accompanying Eros and Aphrodite. 

Alec thought that was a shame. Himeros’ statue looked nothing like him; the piece was more like a distorted version of Alec, who didn’t look much like himself either. 

Magnus was beautiful, he could easily be the muse of any artist. Alec frowned upon the statue in the middle of the font. In his mind he pictured a different statue, just of Magnus, made of bronze, shining bronze, a more adequate material to depict him than the pale marble. The anatomical proportions right; Magnus was broad, with a muscular back and arms… in fact, all his body was strong, from his legs to the angle of his jaw. Then was Magnus’s face, starting with his eyes… so expressive and always with a flame in them that promised you pleasures beyond your understanding

Alec felt the heat that always crawled inside him when he left his mind wandered freely over Magnus, and obliged himself to stop. He needed to keep his mind clear, because Magnus’s body was not the only thing he desired and he knew Magnus wasn’t willing to give anything more to anyone.

After all those years, Magnus was surprised to realize that it took a moment for him and Alec to become friends, or better said, it was that moment that allowed them to know each other more, which eventually lead them to become friends.

That day, they were both sitting in one of the benches of the temple which had somehow become ‘their place’ and Alec was telling him the story behind his brooch. 

It was a gift from a little girl named Madzie that he had saved when she was about to be attacked by a beast in the woods after she got lost, her parent was a jeweler so the family had thanked him with the jewel. Alec told him he occasionally still saw the girl to play with her and teach her archery.

The picture of Alec leveling to the height of a little girl to teach her how to hold a bow was so endearing Magnus couldn’t suppress his smile.

“Well, I thought that maybe you had a lover hidden somewhere.” and then Magnus added under his breath. “A bad one for you to be always in such a foul mood.”

There were rumors of a king fascinated by Eros’s beauty, that could have explained the expensive present. Magnus pouted, thinking about it, no king with all his wealth was enough for Alec, or anyone.

Alec rolled his eyes before answering. “You have known me for a while. You could tell if I had a lover.”

“How could I tell! What am I, a Grey Sister?” they both laughed, and Magnus thought.  _ This is nice, listening to his laugh is nice.  _ Magnus let that thought go. “The myths are true then?” teased him Magnus, feigning shock. “Eros does not know what desire is?”

“I know desire. I’ve felt it, I know it and I’ve seen it, thousands of times in thousands of forms and I came to the conclusion that desire complicates love.”

“Love cannot grow without passion, that’s what mother says. I disagree, though. Even though passion is not exclusively sexual, that’s how she meant it.”

Alec raised his head, watching at the clear sky.

“Love…” Alec said it in such a soft, tender voice. He let the word hanging between them and Magnus’s heart began to beat a little faster. “Every being, mortal or not, loves different. Love doesn’t precise physical desire to flourish and is just as worthy as fervent chores.”

This was not the first time that teasing and joking turned into something more insightful. It wasn’t bad, though, they didn’t end up yelling or refusing to hear what the other had to say. Not anymore, at least.

“That much is true and trust me when I say that I don’t diminish that love you talk about even if I prefer what you have so poetically called ‘fervent chores’.” Magnus turned his body to Alec so he was facing him know, the proximity between them diminished. “What strikes my curiosity is... why deprive yourself of something your soul so palpably craves? The touch, the closeness, the heat..” 

Alec didn’t answer, he only stared Magnus with such an intense look that made him want to render before him, but Magnus knew how to disguise it.

“Do you know how humans call you too?” he asked innocently and Alec crossed his arms over his chest and arched an eyebrow, waiting for him to go on. “Protector of love between men... what bestowed you with such title?”

Alec tilted his head, he was smirking, he knew the game Magnus was playing. They had been playing it for a time now, this tug of war.

“Maybe it’s because I only love men.”

Magnus looked at him and wondered how could you one day look at one person that you had known for a long time and find them different under the same light than the day before. When had Alec turned into Alexander? When his smile had turned soft while looking at the god just sitting there, being, existing and his heart beat faster every time his hazel eyes posed on him?

Gaining Alec’s affections, the mere idea made him want to close his eyes and imagine a myriad of possibilities. He imagined fervent nights and mornings, bodies moving in perfect harmony, hungry kisses, the taste of pale soft skin and the touch of calloused hands.

When had the fire become something else? Something warmer, something nearer to his chest than his groin.

Magnus didn’t know it. 

All these thoughts weren’t what unsettled Magnus as much as when the god started to appear in his dreams recurrently for something more than ardent encounters. Holds of hands, tender whispers in his ear of words so very kind that made Magnus chest tight, strong arms around him protecting him.

Every time Magnus woke up from one of those dreams, his heart was racing and his soul feeling a little lighter.

He knew what this was, he knew the name of it but he didn’t say it, didn’t think it. That just would make it real… and Magnus wasn’t ready, not yet, maybe never. That would just break his heart, once again, and Magnus wasn’t sure if he could endure it, there was a limit to everything, maybe he had reached his?

“One man.” said Alexander and held his hand, tentatively at first, and firmer once he realized Magnus wasn’t retreating his hand. All Magnus could do was to drown in those eyes. Melted citrine with just a touch of emerald in them.

Eros and Alexander, both names spoke of grandeur, both names were directed to the same man. Some artists painted him as a chubby infant with a blindfold over his eyes, others as a youth of black haired and lean body, only the latter were right. However, being fair, till that day didn’t exist a sole painter, sculptor or potter capable of making justice to Alexander.

He allowed to have this moment to himself, a moment to forget his fears, his doubts, his past.

Magnus smiled, incapable of bottling up all his feelings inside of him, he looked at his hand in Alexander’s. Marble and bronze, love and desire and they fitted.


End file.
